Compassionate Partner: Plaza Jewish Community Chapel

Forming community connections may not be the first thing people associate with a funeral home. But at Plaza Jewish Community Chapel, the Upper West Side’s only community-owned and– operated Jewish funeral chapel, it’s a priority.

Among those connections are two made through a partnership with the Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan: cemetery trips for those looking to visit the graves of family members or friends and What Matters: Caring Conversations About End of Life, an advance care initiative that helps ensure end of life wishes are honored.

For the cemetery trips, which take place just before the High Holidays, participants pay only $5. Plaza provides transportation to and from the JCC to individual graves. Cemetery visits have included more than 12 locations on Long Island and in New Jersey and Queens. About 300 people have participated in the five years Plaza has partnered with the JCC on this program. The majority are seniors.

“We know how hard it is to get there,” says Stephanie Garry, Plaza’s chief administrative officer. “In the city, people often don’t have cars or no longer drive, and the cemeteries are difficult to get to from public transit stops.” Even when they can get there, she says, finding individual gravesites is often challenging.

“These trips meet a real need,” says Rabbi Abigail Treu, director of the JCC’s Center for Jewish Living. “People are so grateful,” she says. “For some, it’s the first time in years they’ve visited their loved ones’ graves.”

“Even the most nontraditional families find comfort in ritual-based acts,” Garry says. “Plaza places a great value on rituals that give comfort.” The trips also provide community, says Treu. “Visiting a grave can be a lonely experience. Going with others make it less isolating.”

While accompanying participants on a cemetery trip, Garry has seen the impact of these connections firsthand. One woman told her that she didn’t realize until she was older how important her mother had been to her. “People share personal, deep-seated thoughts,” she says.

What Matters: Caring Conversations About End of Life enables people to take comfort in the fact that their healthcare wishes will be known and honored by their loved ones and healthcare professionals, should they be unable to speak for themselves. Since 2015, Plaza has provided generous support, allowing three Jewish communal organizations—the Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan, the Jewish Theological Seminary, and The New Jewish Home—to enter into a consultancy agreement with Respecting Choices, an established advance care planning initiative, adapting its healthcare-based model for New York’s Jewish community.

What Matters trains volunteer facilitators to offer guidance and resources to those who want to engage in advance care planning. “Facilitators are a bridge between people understanding what advance care planning is and actually doing it,” explains program director Sally Kaplan. “They help people understand the values that are important to them, communicate their wishes, and document them in advance directives.” Members of the JCC and the community at large may schedule conversations with facilitators.

Plaza’s support of both programs reflects one of its key values, says Garry—providing “appropriate connections to Jewish communal resources that community members may need to cope with emotional or practical problems.”

For advance care planning, “the time is here,” says Kaplan, “and Plaza’s support has been unwavering.“

Sherri Lerner is the former editorial director at the Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan. She has written and edited for numerous publications and is currently on the staff of the Wechsler Center.