Classes—but Even More, Community

David Hatcher and his husband, Herbert Godoy, found their son, Jaylen, through David's job, but they found a community through the JCC.

An executive news producer at WNBC in New York, Hatcher was responsible for a recurring segment called Wednesday's Child, which highlights a child in the foster care system who is up for adoption. "I had approved the script for Jaylen's story," he remembers, "and when I went to look at the piece before it went on air, I felt an immediate connection. I told Herbert, ‘This is our boy.'"

The pair, who live in Harlem, had just started discussing adoption when they learned about Jaylen. They immediately set up a meeting with the Children's Aid Society, the agency responsible for Jaylen's case, and, in October 2014, met Jaylen, who had already "stolen their hearts," says Godoy, an executive assistant for a technology firm.

Jaylen, then 5, had been born prematurely, at only 6½ months. As a result, he had fine motor skill issues. He also had ADHD. A few months after Hatcher and Godoy brought him home, testing revealed that he was on the autism spectrum. His adoption became final in November 2015.

The new family's relationship with Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan started when a former colleague of Godoy's, Allison Hoffman, whose kids had attended programs here, told them about Boost!, an afterschool social program, as well as the Marlins swim class, both for children with special needs.

In these programs, says Hatcher, Jaylen has excelled. At a previous swim program he participated in elsewhere, the instructors weren't able to deal with his special needs, but that's not the case with the Marlins. "We see him getting better all the time."

"Jaylen came into the Marlins swim class eager to get in the water and go, go, go," says Caitlin Boker, JCC aquatics administrator. "He's not only stuck with the program, but enjoyed it so much he joined a second class. He always has a huge smile on his face and is eager to demonstrate and even race with his friends in the pool." A year after he began lessons, Boker says, "Jaylen was swimming across the pool, had mastered breath control, and was diving to the bottom to retrieve toys. His friends and instructors look forward to seeing him each week."

At Boost!, Jaylen, now 7, learned to better socialize and understand social cues, says Godoy. "In the past, he had a hard time understanding personal space. Now he understands consequences, and how conversations happen."

Hatcher and Godoy are seeing results outside the JCC as well, as Jaylen takes the skills he is learning at Boost! and the Marlins into the classroom. "We're tying the tools that are helping him here to other areas of his life," Hatcher says. "It's a consistency he's never had before. By everyone ‘speaking the same language,' it gives him the reassurance to be successful.

"When we think about Jaylen's treatment and development," he adds, "we couldn't thank the JCC enough."

While Godoy and Hatcher praise the special needs staff as "supportive and understanding and welcoming," they learned that these qualities don't stop there. "At the JCC, we met parents who were wonderful, open, and shared their experiences," Godoy says. They helped the couple with the process of getting Jaylen into a school that would best meet his needs, as well as finding a doctor. "The JCC has been a great resource for us," says Hatcher, "giving us things to do and places to go."

As gay, multiracial parents, Hatcher and Godoy have seen the same welcoming attitude extend to them as well. "At the JCC, I've never felt any sort of judgment," Godoy explains. "We feel completely accepted. There are places where we're tolerated…but there's a huge difference between being tolerated and accepted."

"We want to make sure Jaylen is exposed to diversity, and there's a good amount of it at the JCC," adds Hatcher. "Other people of color are taking the classes, and are instructors as well. Everyone has been really wonderful."

David, Herbert, and Jaylen appreciate the strong sense of community they get from the JCC, but community is a two-way street. Our community is stronger because of David, Herbert, and Jaylen—and each of you!

Sherri Lerner is the former editorial director at the Marlene Meyerson JCC Manhattan. She has written and edited for numerous publications and is currently on the staff of the Wechsler Center.